Saturday, August 28, 2010



I'm backkkkk. :] I'll just be coming back in shorter sprints, since school started.

I've gone a long way, since my feet first started moving across the floor. Yet when my spirit moved for the first time this year, it melted my heart and connected my heart to my brain by a thread. A powerful thread, yet that's all that it's hanging by.

The only thing I have really done this summer is delve deeper into who I am, and as to find out why I do things the way I do. I'm not sure where this all come from- it just kind of happened. I've never really considered the "why's" and "how's"- just the "what's" and "where's." But now, I am, and it's fascinating.

So, first off, here's a list of a few [ten] things I've discovered:
1. I actually loved going to the extremely peaceful New Harmony, Indiana & Illinois more than the "always-exciting" Gatlinburg. I liked the feelings of roots, and even four and a half hours away at home, I felt them under my feet, calling me back.
2. I laugh at everything, and I never knew why. Anything positively disgusting, I giggle at. I think I use it as a psychological protective kind of thing, to keep my mind pure and overall happy. :]
3. I really want to fight low self-esteem. Not just with mine, but other peoples'. I've been in a life-long fight with mine, and just now I'm winning the battle. I really don't want to lose it ever again, and I'd hate to see anyone else lose, too.
4. I normally am an open-minded person. Up to this point, even though I may dislike something someone says, I still treat them the same either way. But there are some things I can not adapt to: like meanness and disrespect.
5. Goonies never say die.
6. I wanna be a part of history, to where the kids tens of hundreds of years from now will say "Hey, [I] was a part of this" as they flip through their history books.
7. I love people. I love watching them smile and walk by, as they have thoughts and emotions and passions and memories. The art of human nature is just a lovely thing that truly deserves to be appreciated.
8. I was never really aware of how closed my body language was. I've always been sheltered, but I'm trying to change that one step at a time. A little less awkward, a little more open.
9. I still dream. I still have basically impossible dreams about the future, successes, and love, but they are all I have.
10. Writing and music are my escapes, but I've also learned to just be happy.

Next is the ten greatest quotes I found anywhere and everywhere this summer:
1. Be happy, not hungry. [Moi!]
2. People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. [Elisabeth Kubler-Ross]
3. There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say 'watch me'. [WeHeartIt]
4. Be yourself- everyone else is taken. [Not sure.]
5. Make one person happy each day. Even if it's yourself. [Anonymous]
6. Great people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people. [WeHeartIt]
7. And from that moment forward I picked up everything I could find and I hoisted it over my head and I ate nothing but protein shakes, falcon eggs and ROCKS! [Dolores Umbridge]
8. Just the entire website. Sum it up, stick it here.
9. Yeah, this one and number ten can SUCK IT.

FAVORITE SNAPSHOT [That's all it takes.]:

Ten secrets/ideas:
1. I'm not sure if I believe in "God", necessarily; However, I do believe that the universe is on the side of justice and equality.
2. I've had a low self-esteem for as far as I can remember, but I'm slowly getting better, and learning to love myself and my qualities.
3. I am truly a wallflower. I could scheme everything up, but never follow through with it. I'm awkward with anyone but my friends, and can't scream to save my life. A pacifist, a dreamer, a romantic.
4. I can't pick out why people don't like me. Some people just look at me like my face is covered with fish eggs or something. If I could have anything in the world, it'd be equality- finally feeling equal, ALWAYS.
5. If anyone I knew ever found this, and it got out, I'd be in WAY over my head. Not that I really say anything bad about people, it's just that this is my one place to myself. No one knows me here, no one judges me here [or puts too much about it], and it doesn't matter any longer where the information goes, to tell you the truth, because no matter where it is, it's out there.
6. I've gotten several new followers- warm welcomes to you! :]
7. The acoustic versions of just about every song [not every acoustic version, but they have the potential to be] are better than the "originals".
8. "I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should marry myself. Nah, just kidding. But I am a very romantic person- I have this infactuation with people in general [some certain people WAY more than others, but that's beyond the point]. I'm the hope[ful/less] romantic that comes up with/loves those corny little things couples do for each other. That's kind of what I live for at this point- hope and love.
9. I have a passion for things that the general public may consider "weird." I think childhood movies, weird words, and indie music, are awesome- end of story. I enjoy ice cream, insightful cartoons, and long walks in the playground.
10. I really, really, really like lists. I need to end it here, before things become out-of-hand.

Finally, the twelve [I couldn't pick just ten, sorry] top songs of my summer.
1. Kids in Love- Mayday Parade
2. Count on Me- Bruno Mars
3. Home- Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
4. Star Crossed Lovers- Take Cover
5. Roslyn- Bon Iver & St. Vincent
6. Billionaire- Travie McCoy
7. Eclipse [All Yours]- Ariana Gillis
8. Fallen [Acoustic]- Death in the Park
9. Smile Bright- Letters & Lights
10. Set Free- Katie Gray
11. Goodnight Moon- Go Radio
12. 1901- Phoenix

Now, I settle as the fall brings a fair breeze, rustling the leaves that quickly change to hues of orange, yellow, and red.

Macky :]


Eleanor Roscuro said...

Well done! I love your thinking! Have a fantastic autumn! (What the hell is fall? (Yeah, I know it's American autumn, but I don't see why they don't just call it autumn...))

Oh, and the 'Be yourself - everyone else is taken' quote belongs to Oscar Wilde!

Mack said...

Thank you! :] I like "autumn" [or "l'automne", in French] more, also, but I was just listening to an [American] song about fall and the leaves and it seemed appropriate. It's more of a habit than anything else.

Oh, the geniusness of Oscar Wilde. I really need to read one of his works sometime- he just seems eye-opening.

Macky :]

Eleanor Roscuro said...

Read The Picture of Dorian Gray - it's fantastic, and the ending is just... Whoa.

Kay said...

I absolutely love this post.

I feel the exact same way about having my blog "get out". It'd be like people were reading my mind.