Sunday, November 27, 2011

Three words that became hard to say: I, and Love, and You.

passing perfumed notes.

Some Things I Truly Enjoy:
When you speak little snippets of French
How you are just so generally warm- your hugs, your eyes
How you can always make me laugh
How you accept me when so few people do
How you will actually listen to my music, when no one else will anymore
How much hope there is
That toothless smile you have, when your eyes crinkle up and your cheeks dimple
How this has not taken me by surprise (really, thank you)
How I really needed somebody to fill up this little hole in my heart, and you are trying

One Single, Lonely Thing I Do Not Enjoy:
I am afraid. Of what? I do not know- just everything.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

autumn.

"Autumn Song" by Katherine Mansfield

Now's the time when children's noses
All become as red as roses
And the colour of their faces
Makes me think of orchard places
Where the juicy apples grow
And tomatoes in a row.

And to-day the hardened sinner
Never could be late for dinner
But will jump up to the table
Just as soon as he is able,
Ask for three times hot roast mutton-
Oh! the shocking little glutton.

Come then, find your ball and racket,
Pop into your winter jacket,
With the lovely bear-skin lining.
While the sun is brightly shining,
Let us run and play together
And just love the autumn weather.

-----------------

Well, the finest weather of the year is finally here. It is interesting, how this time last year, I became infactuated with a boy who reminded me so much of what I love about autumn. Just his entire presence was a warm, orange color.

*sigh.* I miss him, occassionally.

I miss being infactuated with anyone, really. Autumn seems, for me so far, the season of loneliness. I sit on the schoolbus in the afternoons on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, hoping that someone will sit next to me and actually strike up conversation with me. Or even just someone sitting there, existing, and acknowledging my existence, is a pleasant thought.

I really just wish for someone new, or maybe someone old. Someone with a new role to play. Someone to go on adventures with, and to talk about life, and someone to sit at home. You know what I really wish someone would ask me to do? To watch Beauty & the Beast, which is on on either Friday or Saturday. I don't know why a sudden companion would make me happy, but it just really, really would.

If you get a chance, listen to "Someone to Love" by Hey Marseilles. It is just beautiful and dandy.

P.S. I went on an adventure Halloween afternoon. It was a brief adventure, surely, but I took a short walk through a path carved in the tall grasses and weeds. I trudged through mud, and eventually had to turn back. It was nice, for a minute, just to let go and let my soul take flight and guide me through the uncharted beyond.