Monday, August 22, 2011

so utterly alone

"I don't really know you."
"That's okay. I don't really know me either."

I've been oddly obsessed with the above song for days now. A really good friend of mine sung it one day in front of a crowd, while we all surrounded her, our ears and our hearts open. Some people just have that power, to really move people, and this beautiful, talented individual was one of those types of people.

I've felt so utterly alone the last couple of days. Friday, the last night my best friend was in town, we spent it eating sundaes, taking a drive around town, and singing at the top of our lungs into the summer night sky. That night was a gift worthy of sitting at the front of the Christmas tree. But alas, the next morning wasn't the greatest, as I watched him zoom off towards college. I broke down in the driveway- crawled in the minivan, and cried.

I can't comprehend the whole truth of that morning, but I've noticed that goodbyes are getting harder, and I don't anticipate them to get easier through life.

There's many different things that have happened since my last post. Well, my best friend went off to college. My friends threw me a (spectacular) surprise party. I started school, now in my last year of high school. My Blogger account is being extremely unattractive and won't cooperate, and won't let me comment on most blogs (which I am very, very, very sorry for).

Well, for now, I'm stuck here craving something more in life. I might invite my friends over for a sleepover sometime soon. And we'll finger paint. Because it's enlightening. And we'll drive two hours away. Just to eat cupcakes. And we'll all walk up a big hill. It's worth it to see that Kentucky Sun set over the rolling hills.

Mack. :)

Friday, August 5, 2011


august 5th, 2011

Is God really watching me?
Is anyone watching me?
I have no idea anymore.

I'm running from tomorrow, and chasing the past.

I'll be back tomorrow, just not me.
I'm not myself now, but I defnitely won't be me after the sun falls.

So long, Mac-N-Cheese.
Hello, Ms. Rich.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Mix of Lists

A List of Lovely Tunes:
1. You & I- Ingrid Michaelson
2. At the Bottom of Everything- Bright Eyes
3. New Theory- Life of Leisure
4. All Those Nights- Chase Coy

A List of Wishes:
1. To forget about him (or at least to care less).
2. To see all of my GSP friends sometime soon.
3. To make something very special of my birthday.
4. To feel better.

A List of Delightful Smells:
1. Strawberries. Anything and everything strawberries.
2. My skin, when it has a hint of chlorine. It is unique, because I never swim. I always question why.
3. Colognes that do not smell of old people.
4. The candles my Momma puts in our kitchen.

A List of Some Material Desires:
1. Sock monkey mittens
2. Concert tickets (I'm waiting for Bon Iver or Holiday Parade to come around again)
3. Fancy pantyhose (because I've randomly grown more feminine as-of-late)
4. Origami paper

A List of Favorite Traits in Others:
1. Eyes that captivate.
2. Wanting to have adventures.
3. Genuinity that shines from their smile.
4. Having a strong passion for something.

A List of Things I Want to Be/Do in the Future:
1. Go on adventures
2. Build houses (including my dream house)
3. Write often
4. Fall in love

*Never settle for less than your favorites.*

Honey, I'm Home!

Well, I'm back for now. I've traveled to far away places, across the globe and across county lines, all in just this year. I've exceeded every boundary I had set for myself, & I am pretty proud of myself for it.

My last five weeks at my program have been phenomenal, although now that it is over, I feel like I moved away from all my closest friends (although the only place I moved to is "home"). I miss them all so very very very much. I met the most lovely people there, and they all take up a big part of my heart now. They all opened me up to trying new things, and I adore them for it.

Speaking of new things, I've updated my "Summer is Not a Bummer" list- check it out up top if you get a chance. :) But I still haven't seen Harry Potter, and I don't really mind. Seeing that movie marks the end of our (or my, at least) childhood, you know?

P.S. Saturday is my 17th birthday!

Much love,
Mack. :)