Friday, August 20, 2010


Today just has this natural exuberance [that's still going on, thank goodness :D] that nobody has shaken off. It's to the point of tears, it's so lovely. I couldn't stop laughing at many points through the entire day, even a bit in utter silence [that was a bit embarrassing, but I'm not obsessing with it, so I consider that a psychological step towards my well-being, even though the weird laughing may not have been].

I felt closer to people today than I had felt before. I didn't feel embarrassed with myself at all, about anything. I regret nothing today [except the fact that I couldn't go with a couple of friends to an ice cream place after school, because my brother had an appointment to see a sports injury doctor today and I didn't have a ride home].

I saw HIM today. Yeah, that special him that I was completely twitterpatted infactuated head over heels in love with. I didn't even feel the want to look at him, even though it took the better part of myself to compress my yearn. If you are a teenage girl, you probably know the "yearning" feeling.

Now I have a new [once again, impossible] crush. I'm truly hoping that it's harmless. If it isn't, I'll just drop him just like our bus driver drops off the [annoying] kids. :P

I can say that my early high school years were not necessarily good, but things have turned for the better. So, all you younger-years [which seems like a handful of you?]: if you feel like you're having a hard time, and it's not getting much better, and you just want to drop out and forget everything, just remember that it does get better [maybe not easier, but better] as the time goes on.

Should I truly be sad that he's gone? I mean, I find utter joy in the fact that despite how he says he will "miss everything," I am completely confident that college will be a fantastic experience for him. Goodbyes to me are only sad if they are leaving for a really long time. Even though I'm not there in his Theatre Appreciation Class or whatever [that's the only class I remember him telling me, which he said he wouldn't like], I find happiness in that he will be happy there. That's how much I care about him. He's still here, in spirit, anyways.

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