Sunday, October 17, 2010


Oh, I forgot to mention that yesterday was the day of the Homecoming Dance. But no, I didn't go. As sentimental and sweet as those pre-dance pictures seem, it didn't feel like I missed very much at all, besides paying sixty-dollars for a dress that I will probably only wear once, and watching people disgustingly grind up on each other for four hours, give or take.
Yesterday, actually, I spent my day at an academic team competition, reading, and blogging [OF COURSE BLOGGING WAS IN THERE YOU SILLY PEOPLE].

Yet, yesterday, while I was home on that fateful night, I wanted nothing else but to put my fancy dress on and go outside in my backyard and dance in the moonlight under the stars. But, you know, I didn't- just imagining it was refreshing enough.

If you have not read Paper Towns, I strongly suggest it. God, it was profound, and relating to it was a breeze. Similes were enlightening, just, wow, a good book. Half of the book's pages are folded, just for me to find the quotes later.

"Here's a tip: you're cute when you're confident. And less when you're not."

I'm determined to change myself a bit, and try to put some faith in myself a little bit more. Gosh, I used to go on adventures all the time, even if they were just imaginary. I used to go through canyons and fight komodo dragons, and jump over creeks/land into them, and explore land untouched by shoes. I don't know what age this all changed, but I don't anymore- I've fallen victim to a normal boring routine. I've let that little voice that says "no" ruin my life.

I want that sense of adventure back, I'm determined to find it this year, somewhere, somehow. I'm determined to be more of me again, because being me is my favorite thing about me. So, I guess what I'm saying is that if you do want to change yourself, do it in a way that you want for yourself.

1 comment:

Kay said...

You'll get it back.

GO on a long walk by yourself. That's always a start.

I'm very serious when it comes to adventuring, you know.