Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Another "Last" Day

I don't see what all the hullabaloo [I almost spelled it right the first time] was about. Whoo. It's the last day of school. Of my "blessed" [not really.] sophomore year.
All it's doing is setting me up for another boring summer [most of it being without my best friend], and then a [probably] partially miserable school year, being again without my best friend.
I need to learn to make friends with people. Even more with the people that I call my "closest friends." For some reason, it's hard for me. Maybe, so deep down that I can't even comprehend why it exists, it's that honestly I can't connect with people because the average high school student is too extremely shallow-minded for me. They judge people solely by their appearances.
How is that fair, to try to be friends with people like that when they will only bring me/others down and make me/others feel worse about myself/themselves?
And, just saying, I put this proudly on here because I actually don't judge people solely by their looks. It's not fair to them, and I'm 100 percent aware of what kind of person and personality you can miss out on when you do that [I think that might be also why I don't have too many friends- just because I may not be "beautiful" enough, or wear those major clothes brands all the time].
Yet, it really makes me happy to know that I can write away on this, and not feel "ugly" or low in self-esteem. It's beautiful, to know that people can peer inside of my mind through this and judge me how people should. I wish people at my school saw this [even though it might be a bit bad sometimes, depending on what I'm talking about]- maybe they'd think differently. More positively.
I know there are better people out there. Some I've already met, and they honestly are the greatest people in my life. But my quest is to find more, and to keep these amazing people in my life as long as they can be.
Sorry, I'm just feeling a bit down today. I guess that's what you get when you listen to too many love songs, and you don't have somebody to share them with.
That's the one thing I think I can and can't wait for. Love. The one part of life I would love to fall into, but also I don't want it to come that soon, to where I get sucked into it and stay in that part of my life forever, starting at 15. That'd be not awesome.
Too many kids at my school are being sucked into relationships that just completely overshadow everything else in their lives. I don't think it's healthy, to be that attached to somebody at such a young age.
But, then again, what would I know about love? Only its painful sting, not its long-lasting bliss.
I'll fall into a better mood, soon enough. I hope you all have a great summer, though. :]

No comments: