"We have to ask ourselves: what would UltraLord do?" :]

Sheen. If any of you have ever seen Jimmy Neutron, apparently, they are making a new show, starring Sheen. The awesome weird dude [besides Carl. Carl was awesome, too- and he inspired my love for weird animals that don't get as much attention as they deserve. Like baby goats. They rock.] As much as I was in love with Jimmy [who has a seemingly-odd resemblance to a guy I know- hrm...], bringing back that part of my life makes me smile wildly.
*On a seperate note, I got that thing out of my throat, for the most part. In case you cared or not haha. :]

I left my iPod at home today [on accident, of course]. In the beginning, I thought my day was doomed to suck- terribly. But, to tell you the truth, I'd like more days like today. Any day that you laugh until it hurts to breathe is a good day. Any day that makes you feel like you belong, and that you feel perfect with yourself, no matter what, is a good day. Even my OH GOD moment today was pretty conquerable, as awkward as it felt. So, I guess the point of it all is that going a little bit out of your comfort zone isn't the end of the world. The Earth won't crack in two and swallow you whole. Just try it, and have hope always.

YetIstillcamehometomyiPodwithbliss,
Macky :]

Gosh Darn It- It's Only Thursday!

I made that face half of the day today. Nah, in reality, Woody's.

HappysadHappysad.

That's basically been my week- an odd sense from overall good, to overall bad, to overall good. Over and over and over again. Right now, I'm just stuck in the middle.

I used to think that things had to have a proper order- that there was a proper way of life. Things had to go a certain way, or they wouldn't go at all. If I've learned anything lately, that's certainly not the case in life, especially in the very little I've lived of it. Out of the thousands of years that people have been around, some things just go certain ways, and we'll never know why. Especially in my sixteen years out of life, I seriously haven't lived enough.

I don't know, I just find that whole idea interesting. Humanity and all is kind of awesome.

Ugh, it's like every time I think of something to put on here, it disappears deep somewhere in the catacombs of my brain. That's why any posts of recent time will be/are so weirdly put-together- I apologize for all that may confuse you.

I do have a sad announcement to make, though. I won't be posting for about a week, give or take [mostly because the only computer in my reach will be about a mile away]. I will be in what I like to call my home-town, just because I could describe to you every street of it, every shop and every cranny. I'll also be going to New Harmony, Indiana [hopefully].

We went there last time, and it was just the most beautiful place I'd seen. It was raining softly, and the entire surroundings were serene. That, and Set Free by Katie Gray just set everything to perfection for me. PERFECTION.

This time, I'm hoping to explore it.

Oh, and I have some weird thing stuck in the back of my throat. Cool, huh?

Coolerisitbackwardswrite,
Macky :]

Sunlit Drives & Lullabies

Darn that bent pole, and my stupid phone that has no photographical value whatsoever, but hey, I like it. I actually took this picture, too, so it's special. :]

In a reminscing kind of mood [here comes the wave of emotion...]

We all kind of have our own "security blankets," in a way. Even as we get older, they grow with us. Like I swear that is a hat on top of my head. I just got it yesterday, and have worn it since- it has ears like a werewolf/bunny creature. :D

My parents always tell me a story of my past, when I was just a child in diapers and "bird" hair, that I would wear my Mickey Mouse hat [the ones with the ears] ALL. THE. TIME. Even after it broke, I still would wear it. And, for some reason, that story [and the memories I don't remember] always makes me smile.

Even today, it's ironic, how I grew up hearing lullabies every night from my Mom [she'd sing Chim-Chimeney, or however you spell it, from Mary Poppins], yet every night I fall asleep to my earphones blaring sweet love songs into my ears.

Thepastisbeautiful,
Macky :]

I think you should definitely download this. Onto your iPod. And listen to it. Every morning. Of every day. Because you are amazing. And I'm pretty sure you like your stuff. And you can do anything good, better, than anyone.

Macky :D

Storms & Creeper Vans

Take care of yourself. Someone, somewhere, cares about you.

Well, that certainly almost turned for the worst.

I love the feeling of being outside in between storms on a late summer night. You can wear just about anything and be comfortable in the cool, windy air. The clouds over you make everything seem darker, and even in the dark, you shine bright. It's a powerful moment, leaving you feeling a little more powerful. I, personally, was dancing in the face of as one with nature. Eventually, with no warning, I became more aware of my surroundings. Everything suddenly seemed darker and more menacing.

What changed it all for me? A creeper van, casually cruising up and down through my subdivision.

Creeper vans are the single most scary things to me. I am absolutely utterly terrified of them, so, so much. Really, it's the fear of someone else having complete control of my life, including what I do, and whether I live or die.

This isn't my first time encountering them, either. Last year, there was a scare going through our area about a driver of some truck trying to pick up kids. Anytime that kind of truck came around AT ALL, people would call it in and freak out. It didn't scare me- the idea was still a myth.

Yet, sometime last year, I was close to being picked up myself. It was a Friday night, much like tonight, I believe. I was walking my dog, when a white beat-up [creeper] van was driving by. I felt a slight fear of it, but didn't think too much of it. This was long after that incident occured. I saw the men as they drove by- two older men [not "gentle"men at all], with dirtied "country" clothing, and scraggly beards. Eventually, they stopped about three houses up the street, and just sat there for awhile. They started to turn around, and I was so terrified I couldn't move. Eventually, Dirk came outside, to my surprise, and the van sped off soon after that. He saved my life that night.

Ever since then, I can't get rid of that sheer terror. My dog didn't even get to poop tonight- I had to pull him inside. When you can't feel safe right outside of your own home at 8:00 p.m., it's a sad, sad place.

After I came in, I sat out and waited and waited, trying to see if they . Me with my lack of patience, didn't waste that much time. "Please don't take anyone away," I whispered into the empty garage [behind the locked side door], and went inside.

I really hope you feel safe tonight.

Atleastmydogcanpoopinmybrother'sroom,
Macky.

*p.s. CALL ME ISHMAEL! :D
[If you can tell me who said that line somewhere, on something, you will get a fantastic (not really, but it might be pretty awesome- I haven't decided it yet) surprise!]

"Take a chance- Columbus did."

This quote makes me smile everytime I think of it. I've already devoted one post to taking chances, but I just thought I'd bring it up again, when one of my professors said the above quote a couple of days ago. Everytime I hear her say anything profound, I scribble it down in my notebook, just because I think it's beautiful, and want to save it to share. Just about everyone in our class hates her, but, personally, I find her enlightening. She basically bashes everyone else for their denominations of religion [I don't have a denomination], their town [I didn't grow up here], and their political views [sometimes it comes up].

Then again, I've never really decided that I hated a teacher before [I almost did once, but I found out why she did the things she did, and I respected her more for it, so it was fantastic].

-------------------------------------------------------

Today was, umm, interesting, I guess. There aren't too many "boring" days, if you have a certain group of friends, or a problem ticking your time away, or you're on a quest through life. Personally, I did/do all three on a regular basis, so it's a pretty sick rollercoaster ride [in my point of view, at least].

The most interesting part of my day was watching a fly [the other day it was playing with trash]. Crazy, huh?

It's kind of funny, how people like to take advantage of Life, yet how they complain when It kicks them when they're down. It's also funny, how It can be really hard one moment, and just when they expect things to get worse, it's like everything hard had dissaperated from the world.

I feel extremely lucky today, but worn-out. I put my hard work into one thing, while everyone else put it into another, and guess who came out on top? Moi. :] Poor people..

I feel extremely happy today, but my face is becoming more tired by the passing second. Like the kind of happy where sunshine and rainbows are shooting out my butt while I'm stuffing my face with sweets, but all I can think of is finding more sweets and shooting out more sunshine [UNTIL I throw them all the sweets up, and the sunshine gives me a sunburn :P].

Anyways, things seem extremely adorable and drowsy and simile/metaphor-packed today. It's kind of weird, how it seems that being happy isn't the 'cool' thing to do anymore. I never really was the 'coolest kid,' so I guess it'll be fine. I'll [possibly] be posting more tonight, but they probably won't have any real weight: just a shallow sense of happiness that even though this week has been heck, it's all over now.

I want to hear breathe see smell feel read touch EXPERIENCE beautiful things.

Sohopefulforlittlereason,
Macky :]

P.S. Est-ce que tu m'aimes? ;D

Putting Off Procrastination For Later

Ohh man, this song. I have this strong vision, where I'm singing this song in the courtyard of my grandma's town. "Christmas" lights are tangled in the trees surrounding the small area, mingling with the fireflies, and it'd just be a group of kids, fists in the air. The crowd carries the energy through the autumn air, and the noise makes the older shopkeepers closing up down the street grumble and think their bitter thoughts about the youth of today. Me, I'd be in the middle of a flock of strangers, screaming my heart out like it would be last time I would ever be heard. For some reason, I find no fear in it at all.

Secret: When I walk through the halls of school, I can't breathe. I just forget how to breathe as I pass people, as they glance over at me. I feel like a deer in the headlights, navigating the hallways without a pack. It's frightening, but, at the same time, enlightening. It's the memories I still cling to that keep me on that lone path, and it makes me feel different. Alone. Myself.

I have a weird love of eyes, I've never known why. I've always picked out one guy to have the most beautiful eyes, but he has a contender now [even though all he will ever be is a face in the hallway, I'm sure]. It makes me extremely happy, to know that there's always better out there somewhere. :]

Ugh, I don't remember what else I wanted to blog about today. I'm supposed to do a whole project tonight for Fahrenheit 451 [I'm setting up a whole big list of quotes I want to share eventually, but it just grows longer just about every day], yet here I am, typing away.

Lately things have been stressing me out to oblivion, yet I'm just kind of pushing them off so I can panic more later.

Canyougetsenioritisasajunior?,
Macky :]