"We have 3 purposes in life: to pay taxes, to die, & to live until we die." - My Grandma :]

Call Me a Wimp- I Don't Care

Scary movies suck. What really makes them scary is how easy they make killing someone taking a human life look. That, and waiting on the edge of my seat, feeling like I'm about to pee my pants at any moment, is not my favorite use of two hours. I could be, oh, watching Nickelodeon. Or doing homework. Yeah. They aren't my favorites. I guess I'm the type of girl that likes a good book, or a good wholesome adventure [full of laughs], instead of something that makes me have to stay up late at night and feel like a crazy person. To go along with that, I'm also not the type of girl that likes all those sappy "young romance" movies- yeah, a couple, but for the most part no. I'm just me, movie-wise, I guess.

KeepmesafetonightfromtheBoogeyMan?,
Macky ;D

Story of my life.

oh, and here's your knife. i finally pulled it out of my back.

Don't ever, EVER, compare me to anyone else. EVER. Especially to the person that keeps on stabbing me in the back, over and over again. All I wanted was the best for you- that's why I didn't put up a fight when you dumped me. It hurt, but I did it any way. She used you- just like everyone else. I saw it. I heard it. And she threw you away, like a wrapper, once she was done with you. But still, you insisted we were similar. That's why we don't talk anymore. That's why even though I miss your friendship, you're not worth my time, trying to change your mind of that stupid little idea that infiltrated itself into your brain somehow. Someday, things may be different. I doubt it, but I can hope.

Changesowecanbefriendsagainplease?,
Macky.

Sorry for writing so negatively lately. I'm hoping to let it all out now, so I can be peaceful over my break & when I get back. :]

Shoot!

Apparently, I was not very well-informed. I am leaving tomorrow, instead of today.

Igotallexcitedfornothing,
Macky :[

Shine Like a Star

A little tidbit about me: I have Orion's Belt [?], in freckles, twice on my arms. Three/two dots in a row, with four dots squaring it. I call it "my constellation", just because I see it a lot, and I've deemed it somehow related to myself. Some higher being thought that there must be some fate in it, and I keep on trying to figure out if that has some symbolic resemblance, but can not find anything to support that.

Tonight was the first time I had seen the stars shine so bright in a long time. Usually, the clouds cover them up like a dark grey blanket, but tonight they are shining almost as bright as your eyes. ;]

To tell you the truth, I think about the stars a lot less than I should. True beauty is the light that gleams from inside of us, and shines when we do. When I heard "You're all stars" from my elementary-school teachers, I always thought it meant we were famous. Fantastic. Good at whatever we were doing. That was it; I never took the time to think about any deeper meaning.

I wish more people thought of beauty like that- not just a shallow preference of the eye, but a shining light. If some do, I'd really, really like to meet them. And even though we all judge people on some level by outer beauty, remember there's something beautiful that everyone has: a soul. Maybe I'm actually pretty- maybe I'm plain, outer-beauty-wise; and even though I have an awful self-esteem [currently, my light is running inefficiently, like usual] and won't know this until I improve it, I'll always know I have a prettier soul than a lot of other people.

Don't trust a mirror- all they'll tell you are ice cold lies.

Ihaven'tfoundthatspecialstaryet,

Macky :]

Gibberish

I'm tired, so sorry for your wasting your time. Actually, scratch that. I'm not sorry, really. People shouldn't apologize for saying what they think, EVER [except for when it's something extremely rude, in which case "no offense" or "sorry" work as relieving statements]. My mind's working a mile a minute, just spitting out quite some gibberish. Maybe some one else can figure out my brain's methods to this? Maybe you can work me out before I can?

We're watching this movie on Mozart in VPA. So far, I'm just like WOW. What a buttface, really. Every musician worships this guy, really? [Actually, he isn't that bad, but it got me thinking about how we idolize people who don't deserve to be... I believe we've had this conversation before.] It confuses me, how talent goes to people sometimes. Sometimes, they completely misuse it, and part goes to waste. Why, though? Why on Earth would this be? Another mystery to humanity, I guess.
Taking only possibilities and turning them into pure beauty is a fascinating thing, though. Consider all the things to post about, all of the millions of words waiting patiently to be used. No limitations, all free. Just astounding. I think that's maybe why I love "nobody" singers- because I know they made it all themselves, created something out of nothing. They seem more in-touch with themselves.

On another note, sea cucumbers "breathe" through their butts. But seriously, who is so bored [or obsessed] with sea cucumbers that they're going to freaking watch them and see how they breathe?

Everything feels surreal right now. They're screaming downstairs at the TV, while everyone else is out and enjoying the night. I'm stuck inside, alone in this room, feeling totally out of place. Where do I belong? I'm not sure, at all.

Lately, loneliness has grown on me. I've been searching for some satisfaction, but now can't find anything. It's hollow. I'm really hoping that since this is fall break, I'll feel more complete by the end. Hopefully, I'll come back with something fantastic to blog about. :]

I wrote you a poem
I wrote you a song
But it didn't work out
Now the words are all wrong

We danced in the moonlight

And under the stars

But look in my eyes

Forget where you are

You have some beauty

You have some skill

It comes with nature

Oh what a thrill

But it's wasted away

And our feelings combust

The sound of hearts breaking

As our souls turned to dust.