SPRING SMILES

a playlist by mackenzie rich, with feelings written by mackenzie rich.

1. Stubborn Love- The Lumineers
I sing this when I am walking around campus alone and the wind is blowing in my face, and also when I am alone in my dorm. I honestly think this is the only song I can sing well. But the day anyone hears me singing this will be a life-changing day.

2. Someone Like You- 1997 musical "Jekyll & Hyde"
I always remember a beautiful friend from a few years ago singing this song at a talent show. Our friendship was kind of serendipitous, and although we are not too close these days, that time period was probably the most inspiring (creatively) time in my life thus far.

3. Home is Not Places- The Apache Relay
Definitely one of my new favorites! It gives me such a whiplash of wanderlust.

4. Skinny Love- Bon Iver
This song will forever be my favorite, because it is just so universal to me. It fits in every season, every night, and every place I have ever experienced. It is a yearning for more love.

5. Lizstomania- Phoenix
Spring does not have to be all rain and heartbreak, you know. :)

6. Come on My Soul- Rend Collective Experiment
Spring is the season of growing, where everything is reborn or growing in some shape or way. I am just choosing to grow my spirit.

7. On the Radio- Regina Spektor
I could have put almost any of Regina Spektor's songs here, but this one has been my favorite as of late.

8. Marry Me- Train
All I can think of when I listen to this song is a hill I used to hike when I was younger. It was always windy up there, and you could see very far into the horizon over the hills and farms.

9. I Will Wait- Mumford & Sons
Isn't this just a perfect dancing song? Or a song that you sing with all of the air in your lungs?

10. Melody- Kate Earl
I have this tradition of deeming the first song I listen to on my birthday my "year's" song. This was this year's song, and it has been surprisingly true. It is also quite peppy.

11. She Came Around- Holiday Parade
I would really like to be a girl like this, for a boy to write a song like this about me. That is not who I am now, though.

12. Let it Be- The Beatles
This song is hope. And peace. And a strong beat. And a classic at that, so I feel that it belongs here.

13. Lover of the Light- Mumford & Sons
I could not help myself but to post another Mumford & Sons song. This one is not quite as fun as the first one, but I love the messages of their songs so much.

14. Can't Help Falling in Love- Ingrid Michaelson
And this song is brought to you by my rampant impulses in the spring to be infatuated with every single person who has good qualities (the more good qualities, the deeper the infatuation, sadly). I would not choose to love less, though- I just wish I could understand and manipulate all of this love in my heart. Hopefully I will learn that with God's hand, though.

15. Gracie- Ben Folds
Another love song, but this one is from a father to his daughter. My relationship with my Dad is by no means perfect, but I know he loves me.

16. Spare-Ohs- Andrew Bird
This song gives me chills- ahhhh. I love the video on Youtube where he is walking through the streets of Montmartre, singing this song and strumming his guitar and whistling as beautifully and naturally as a bird. This man can serenade me so easily with his lips.

17. Comme des enfants- Coeur de Pirate
This song goes back to when I was first beginning to love the French language. I also really like her sweet, syrupy voice.

18. Re: stacks- Bon Iver
I could not go without picking out another song by Bon Iver! ... That is about the only reason though haha.

19. Dreamer- My Favorite Highway
I would have stopped at eighteen, but needed to add this song. My friend & I used to listen to this song and band a lot before we, well, stopped being friends. And the band also broke up a couple of years ago. It is still kind of a pretty fresh wound, but I do still really love this song.

I do challenge you all to either listen to these and tell me what you think, or to please make your own!

-MacKenzie

I finally had a chance to go back to the place that started it all. It was never simply an hotel. No, it was two towers with winding hallways that stretched the length of blocks and blocks. It is how I came to know the rainy city I go to school now- how I came to know where I belong, what truly matters, and why things have to change and hurt and grow in this world. I realize I am a different person than the girl that was me when I frequented the hotel every year in the old springs. Was that girl even named MacKenzie? She was sad and trying to live for herself. But the late nights, the games that went on behind and between open suite doors, and the familiar smell of the carpet (which is the same, by the way, even years later) all shaped me into the girl that writes and still stares out the window today. I am simply a happier, more grown-up version of that girl, but so much more free, I feel. The one thing I cannot decide, however, is whether keeping on to these things is holding me back from even more freedom...

I can laugh at myself

I am laughing rigorously at the moment. I found a story I had written my freshman year of high school. It is 22 whopping pages and is called "Muffin Child" (the girl's family owns a bakery). It involves a girl, her best friend, and his family going on a trip to Tennessee for two weeks with the family of her crush's best friend. I had not gotten very far (first day into the story), but WOW, was I something, and that something was sadly not a writer. It is so shallow, yet so comical and light (but there is also sarcasm), that it does not even look like my writing or even my voice.

I might publish parts of it if I can on here: I am going to enjoy it for a while, though- selfishly chuckling at my own little jokes. :)

For some reason I do not have the strength to say all the things weighing on my mind tonight. Maybe I will try tomorrow.

Sleeping Sickness- City & Colour

on my heart: wanderlust, bliss, love

I had it again. That dream where we meet up in the middle somewhere on a Tuesday or something, and together we drive until we reach the coast. It gives me goosebumps when we both run into the water, mostly because it's freezing, but also because it's a great thrill. There's warmness in the backseat of the car, and we both drift away in a peaceful sleep, onwards to our next adventure. Maybe it is on the other coast- maybe it is leagues away, or maybe it is into the future- but it is always home with you.

-M♥

collection of some younger thoughts of a younger me

August 12th, 2010
I am a turtle, still seeking shelter in my shell. I want to come out of it [oh, I wrote "come out"... dear me, how naive I was]. I am a deer, running away from danger, but I still get caught up in the lights of it all. I am a sloth, tired from the same routine. Little energy keeps me from changing it. I am an ant, marching behind everyone else. I'm going to break off, soon. I am a raccoon, my eyes encased in black. At night is when I feel alive. I am a lightning bug, glittering when I wish- my light the same as others, but sometimes we glow at different times. I am a person, with my own set of problems. Even though I am all of these things, I still try to be myself.

January 12th, 2010
The greatest tragedy a single person can have is the one that emotionally cripples them. I personally see it in one girl every single day. She has no idea how important she truly is to others, and what a great person she is. Because she doesn't know this, I still believe she hurts herself- I've seen the scratches on her wrists. I hope that someday she'll realize, and if not, I plan to tell her. I think about it more than I should- I see it, and feel horrible. I've always secretly looked up to her. I've never thought much of my own life- I don't think it's awful, or unbearable, or tragic. It's a life.

January 28th, 2010
Ohhh, that swing. I never thought a huge tree, a long rope, and a circular wooden board would could ever give one person so much fun, so many memories. I swung on it for hours, and up until I reached high above the shed we had. It was like flying, but sitting down. It occupied my dreams for a long time, where I'd be sitting down and the swing would fall [from under me], and I'd just be flying in the air, floating weightlessly for awhile.

February 1st, 2010
A lot of people write autobiographies of themselves for a living, earning millions of dollars from their words. But they aren't really selling their words- they're selling their lives, their memories, and their thoughts. So, I don't really have a life to sell, because I haven't made one for myself yet. I'm too young- I haven't had enough time, or enough experience to even start... Life for the most part [right now] is boring, and not something of mine that people would want to hear about...

February 12th, 2010
Valentine's Day, to me, is just as meaningful as Canadian Boxing Day. I've never been really given a chance to experience the shallow meaning and effect of the holiday. It's a lot deeper than roses and chocolates and cute little teddy bears that sing songs. It's all about how much you truly care about [usually] one person in your life. But why only one? Why doesn't everybody celebrate the love and caring of everyone? Why don't we all still give out little cards that make everyone feel special? I miss those days. I'm now one of those kids that might rarely have a "one special person" on Valentine's Day. I celebrate everyone, kind of like it's an anniversary of our friendships, and through it flows memories [and nostalgia]. :)

February 24th, 2010
I kind of have found out that there are certain words that sound better than others. Like nightlight. It just sounds cool- the way it rolls off of my tongue with ease. Memento. There's another great word.

February 24th, 2010 [AGAIN]
I really dislike when people say "keep your fingers crossed," mostly because I have a hard time physically doing it. It seems as though the space between my fingers is too small for them to overlap. I don't understand why I'm built this way, but it's of some symbolic point, I'm sure. Because I don't always necessarily have the power to hold a great amount of hope? Or maybe it's the fact that the hope is so strong inside of me, I can't convey it externally. :)

March 4th, 2010
My dreams are short & adventurous. Some have great settings still, but most do not. The last dream I recall is that I was staring at flesh [not a chest at all, mostly because I never dream of "inappropriate parts"- they're all just plain, like the skin of an arm], above the heart of a person. In the dream, I thought it was myself. The heart was circular, but kept beating. Then I woke up.

I came up with my own list of things I want to do this semester. They are just little things, but good. Yes- good.

1. Make a homemade pizza with friends one night. (Because Papa John's pizza is kind of flat.)
2. Go to a Louisville park. (I hear they are awesome.)
3. Plant flowers!
4. Ride the bus (I am still afraid to).
5. Take more pictures.
6. Play music out the window in the morning.
7. Throw a "I'm fabulous" party (I feel like some people I know would like this).
8. Get a boy on campus to give me a ride on his bike.
9. Submit something for the literary magazine.
10. If there is a starry night ever over campus, teach some people about star-tipping.
11. Come up with a really great idea about my future.
12. Go to Cru on Thursdays more often (or maybe not).
13. Try to buy less junk food.
14. Surprise people (even myself).
15. Cut my hair real short.
16. Make some art.
17. Draw a cross on my wrist more often.
18. Learn to open up; learn to love from the good examples I have in my life.