Dreaming of the Past, and the Future

This was single-handedly the most beautiful experience I've had thusfar in my life, even though there were dogs' butts in my face the entire time.




For some reason I really liked this when we drove by it. :)

I want to go on another adventure like this one.

[ And I will, just it'll be at least 50-60 degrees warmer. Plus, it'll be in France. Oh mon dieu, oui. :) ]

Ohhhhhh- Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea??

Good Morning, Readers. :)

I have a lot I need to do [yet I have quite awhile to do it], but I think today will be one of those days with a lot of "should haves, but did nots"s.

Instead of doing any of the productive things that are sitting around me, I'm sitting here on the computer, looking at things I can't selectively afford [I'm saving every penny I have for France], watching SpongeBob SquarePants.

Kind of like what Plankton's doing. Always failing at doing things, and being kind of lazy about it. In this episode, he's gotten SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward to remodel the Chum Bucket. And to think, as a kid, I always felt bad for him.

Now, I realize he's just lazy, and really small-minded.

He was unsuccessful, again, in stealing the Krabby Patty Secret Formula. Another episode will be coming on, and I guess it's taught me hopefully what it's teaching the youth watching it- if you want something to be done right, you gotta do it yourself. Oh, and good always triumphs over evil. That's all, I guess, for awhile from me.

It's All Good

Yeah... I just happened to have overreacted. And I also freak out over the littlest things.

It wasn't that bad- one of my friends suprisingly was there, at least.

All that matters is that I'm helping people through it. :)

[And it'll show up on my college application, etc.]

Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, SHOOT!

This will not go over greatly, I can tell.

Okay, so my Mom, being the caring, wanting-success-in-me parent she is, decided to sign me up for an ice-cream party for 4-h in my town for tonight. And decided to tell me today.

And, sure enough, I don't want to go. Not really because it "cramps my style" [it doesn't matter], but because I know a whole 1 person going. No offense to her, but she's kind of annoying. All the rest of the people signed up for the event [on Facebook, at least] were from our area's private high school.

So, wish me luck. The ice cream better be good, that's all I'm saying.

See?

Rawr.

You can't tell too much from the picture, but I'm all smiles today. :]

I wish I could, but for right now my chances have worn out...

What Sleep [and Currently Lack Thereof] Can Do For You

"Today, my sister told my mom about a good book she was reading. She was saying that it was about a girl who got around and lies to her parents all the time. She then decided to show the book to my mother. It was my diary. FML" 5-16-10 I'm sorry, but that serves her right for doing that.

I got up to take some Advil, and what do you know?- some thing on the sink was leaking water all over the counters. It was actually kind of entertaining- I'm not sure why.

I just finished watching America's Funniest Home Videos, and, for some reason, a majority of it wasn't funny at all. It just feels like all of my joy was sucked out of my body today, and I'm futily searching for it to come back.

But, there's this saying my Mom always tells me, and it's always worked up to this point. "Everything will be better by tomorrow morning." And, truthfully, every morning after being stressed out humongously I'll wake up and actually feel a better, even if it's just in the beginning of the morning. It's kind of nice- the mood that sleep can put you in.

The saddest part is that the happiest part of my day sometimes is when I'm unconscious, and my mind's drifting off into my subconscious thoughts. Just asleep- dreaming happily.

Right now, all I can think about is the field of daffodils from Wordsworth's "I Wandered Lonely As a Cloud." That's kind of how I feel right now- like I feel alone and depressed, but when I close my eyes I think of one recurring thing, and it never fails to bring a smile to my face.

Anyways, that's my "late-night" musings for tonight.

Make a wish! Where I live, it's 11:11.

[All I wished for is <3.]

11:12. Darn. Sorry.

Another "Last" Day

I don't see what all the hullabaloo [I almost spelled it right the first time] was about. Whoo. It's the last day of school. Of my "blessed" [not really.] sophomore year.

All it's doing is setting me up for another boring summer [most of it being without my best friend], and then a [probably] partially miserable school year, being again without my best friend.

I need to learn to make friends with people. Even more with the people that I call my "closest friends." For some reason, it's hard for me. Maybe, so deep down that I can't even comprehend why it exists, it's that honestly I can't connect with people because the average high school student is too extremely shallow-minded for me. They judge people solely by their appearances.

How is that fair, to try to be friends with people like that when they will only bring me/others down and make me/others feel worse about myself/themselves?

And, just saying, I put this proudly on here because I actually don't judge people solely by their looks. It's not fair to them, and I'm 100 percent aware of what kind of person and personality you can miss out on when you do that [I think that might be also why I don't have too many friends- just because I may not be "beautiful" enough, or wear those major clothes brands all the time].

Yet, it really makes me happy to know that I can write away on this, and not feel "ugly" or low in self-esteem. It's beautiful, to know that people can peer inside of my mind through this and judge me how people should. I wish people at my school saw this [even though it might be a bit bad sometimes, depending on what I'm talking about]- maybe they'd think differently. More positively.

I know there are better people out there. Some I've already met, and they honestly are the greatest people in my life. But my quest is to find more, and to keep these amazing people in my life as long as they can be.

Sorry, I'm just feeling a bit down today. I guess that's what you get when you listen to too many love songs, and you don't have somebody to share them with.

That's the one thing I think I can and can't wait for. Love. The one part of life I would love to fall into, but also I don't want it to come that soon, to where I get sucked into it and stay in that part of my life forever, starting at 15. That'd be not awesome.

Too many kids at my school are being sucked into relationships that just completely overshadow everything else in their lives. I don't think it's healthy, to be that attached to somebody at such a young age.

But, then again, what would I know about love? Only its painful sting, not its long-lasting bliss.

I'll fall into a better mood, soon enough. I hope you all have a great summer, though. :]

We're All the Same- Artist vs. Poet